really need the veronica mars movie to happen (less than a week thbrogan!!) because I have developed an obsession with present-day chris lowell and I’m not saying I am rooting for piz to get the girl in any way but I am saying that I am more interested in pictures of him than most other things related to this movie and that’s upsetting to my soul and needs to change
“But you’re not fat, don’t say that,” he responded.
Tell that to the hips that got caught in a turnstile yesterday and everyday that she forgets to turn sideways. Tell that to the stores that stop at size 12 (or size 10 if she wanted to look her age). Tell that to the small woman rolling her eyes beside me on the subway as my booty spills over into her seat. Tell that to the holes my inner thighs have rubbed into every pair of jeans I own. Tell that to the rolls on my back & the crevices in my ass.
Tell that to the silence at the end of your sentence that should say “because fat people are ugly, because if I think you’re attractive you can’t be fat because I’m saving fat to degrade a woman two sizes smaller than you but with a flatter chest & a spare tire. Because you’re not fat is a compliment even when it’s not true because what I’m really saying is you don’t repulse me the way fat people are supposed to repulse me. Because I get final say on your body, not you & I’m giving you a pass for the same dimpled ass I laughed at on another woman yesterday because your waistline is smaller than hers and a normal woman would just be happy with that.”
when i am old and gray and it will be like 500th academy awards and i will sit in my rocking chair knitting sweaters made of lawsuits and chickens and my great grand children will say “why are you crying grandma” and i will scream “the social network was a film that defined a generatioN IT WAS ROBBED fuck THE ACADEMY THEY’RE ALL SORE ASS BITCHES ANYWAYS” and that will be my final journey to the psychiatric hospital
this is a really good explanation of my relationship with the social network. because I’m fairly positive that this song will be the reason for my death. and yet I would still want you to play it at my funeral.
“The first boy who ever became my boyfriend — who I ever fell in love with — actually sang a song that he wrote for me in front of his parents and a bunch of people at an Irish pub when we were thirteen. That was how he asked me out. And that boy won a Tony for Spring Awakening a few years ago. That was magical.”—Aubrey Plaza on "the most charming way a male has ever approached her" aka John Gallagher Jr. (via like-some-elf)
fake!married is the best trope and i never tire of it no matter how many are written and how badly they end up being. undercover!married is even better. “we have to lull our adversary into complacency by being as MARRIED AS POSSIBLE.”